Saw V tomorrow.


Fuck yes.

I seriously hate my job sometimes. It's Sunday, we had a full house of 154 rooms last night (90% of which I helped check in-- helped being the key word, as I was assisting someone else who was already working), and now I get to check every single one of them out.

By my freaking self.

They told me I would have help today, which I would have appreciated greatly. But! I don't. So now I have to check them all out by myself. It's not really THAT big of a deal, but considering I've been interrupted 10 times alone during the writing of this post (and that I've pretty much been on my feet straight for the time I've been here) it's sort of annoying. I never call in, and if I DO call in, it's usually because I'm extremely sick, like when I had strep throat. And guess what? I still came in then, because I pretty much can't call in, because there's no one to cover my shift, mainly because my boss won't hire someone. She's waiting for someone who will be 'really good at the job' well I think you have to HIRE SOMEONE FIRST TO KNOW HOW GOOD THEY WILL BE. Ugh.

Anyway. Stupid job. It just pisses me off. I'd like a bit of help, considering I came in on my day off to help someone else. That, and I would like to be able to call in should the need arise. Sure, they let me have off at my vacation, but everyone took vacation! Yadna is going to cover for me in December when Shawna gets here, thankfully.

It's not so much that I can't call in or anything, it just kind of sucks that I've been here every day I was scheduled to work with the exception of one, MAYBE two days. That, and when other people call in? Well, they LET them call in. Somebody works for them. I would like to be appreciated from time to time for my dedication to this job, even if I hate it sometimes.

Sometimes I just want to call up Umi (my boss) and quit right there on the spot, and let them deal with it. My job isn't really that bad, it's just annoying sometimes. It sucks when you're the only one here checking out 154 rooms, all of which want to make reservations for, and all of which are bitching about the noise levels. (Dude, you're at a fucking BIKER RALLY with 150+ motorcycles staying at the hotel, what do you think this is, the night before Christmas and all through the house? Of course there's going to be noise, jackoff. YOU'RE THE ONE MAKING THE NOISE.)

Anyway. I'm done bitching now.

It's an empty feeling, but not quite. It's.. it's something you have, but then is taken away. Only sometimes it's given away. By free will. By choice. And when it's not with you, it's not whole. So it's not necessarily an empty feeling, but a feeling of... incompleteness.

I know that doesn't make much sense, but I can't think of any other words to describe it.

I don't know if I'm a hopeless romantic, a hopeless soul, or just hopeless, or what. It's just this crazy whirlwind of emotions tugging at my heart and soul and mind all day, every day. It's not bad, don't get me wrong. They're good feelings. Feelings of joy, mirth, love, all of that, but there is sadness. Sadness that... it's hard to explain the sadness without going into detail.

Sadness... isn't the right word, either.

If you're reading this, you know who you are-- and you know what I mean, I think, about the sadness, for lack of a better term. Not knowing our next time. Not knowing for sure.

Most of my friends here, this isn't something I can easily talk to them about. And the one person here that I can explain it to, my friend that will understand, he's so hard to get ahold of these days. It really sucks he and I don't get to hang out as much anymore, because he just understands. He's someone I can vent and rant to about it, and he always knows what to say. (I'm lookin' at you, Jerry. Not that you're ever gonna read this you non-internet having lunchbox.)

(I'm not a wimpy guy, as much as this post makes it sound like I am. Arrrrgh. Steak. MEAT. Wootwoot!)

Anyways. It's sort of lame when it keeps you up until... it's 4:00AM right now. I have to be up at 9:00AM to go take care of some school business. But here I am, lying awake, writing on LJ (actually writing on it for the first time ever, aside from Sylar's which doesn't really count, and truly utilizing it-- people, mark this down in your history books). No matter how many times I try out the new Star Wars demo or watch episodes of ATHF, I can't fall asleep.

Most of it-- not that I haven't been feeling this for the past couple of days, anyway-- is because I read something tonight. Not something I necessarily should have (even though I knew about it already), but it was in my favorites (for something else, granted, but it was on the same thing.) It broke my heart.

I hate that I can't do anything about it, either. Which is the silliest notion in the world, really, hating that I can't do anything about it. I hate that I can't really do anything now when something needs to be done. I hate being unable to help. I know it's not... really a problem, but that's just me, that's who I am. I hope that's okay. I wear my heart on my sleeve, I admit it, and I think that it's been a problem in the past before.

I sincerely hope it's not a problem this time.

Le sigh. Again. I'm hopeless.

(STEAK!)

I don't know. Maybe I'm just weird.

Back to Star Wars.

So I looked into changing my name, and apparently I have to pay! This is lame. I also found out I can't post comments (even to my own entries!) without verifying some e-mail or something! LJ is mean to me. Also, when I start a new post, after I click into the entry area, I start typing, and then LJ forces me down a line for some auto break entering line hell-if-I-know crap and it's lame too. LJ you suck!


Screw it! I'm making a new name. Something awesome like 'AlexIsAwesome'.

Oh man, or I could do some French word, that'd be pretty cool.

I'm pretty much just talking to myself now.

Back to House.

(Hi, Freckles.)

I don't, like, ever really use livejournal, you know. I think I've maybe posted once to a livejournal a looooooong time ago, for.. for some reason. All I remember is it had a tree for the account picture. I dunno. Anyway. So I was messing around on hmsylar, my Heroes MUSH account for the big baddie of the same name, and I flipped over to meanderingways to read this sweet and darling post someone made about me, and.. I kind of realized.

My LJ name is kind of girly. Least it seems so to me. I wonder if I can change it!



Cowbell. Sometimes it keeps me up at night.